Sitting in the Kapa’a crawl, heading South, and not moving at all for what seems like a long, long time – I found myself thinking “Can’t wait until the Coco Palms Hotel opens up.”

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, and this is not funny at all. Not one little tiny bit.

At 350 rooms hosting 700 or more guests, if this hotel is ever built it will add approximately 400 more cars into that unmoving stream – once in the morning as the visitors depart and employees arrive, and then again in the afternoon as the cycle repeats itself.

They will all be entering and exiting from a single point, perhaps two at the most – Kuamoo Road on the North and Haleilio Road to the South.

The already very intolerable traffic situation will become verifiably and insanely even more intolerable.

Should the 700 guests decide to cross the 4-lane highway to go to the beach rather than spend their vacation in traffic, that will of course not just be dangerous – but have a significant impact on the coastal area and exacerbate the traffic even more.

I’m wondering if the hotel will disclose to the visitors who book rooms, the fact that the mouth of the Wailua River consistently ranks as one of the top most polluted beaches on Kauaʻi?

According to a recent TGI story: “Environmental organization Surfrider Kaua‘i’s Blue Water Task Force found large amounts of bacteria in several of Kaua‘i’s waters this month, suggesting that ongoing concerns over fecal contamination of the Garden Island’s streams and beaches are far from over… the Wailua River mouth…measured over 130 enterococci per 100 milliliters of water, indicating high amounts of contamination in excess of state water quality standards.”

With 700 hundred more people flushing several times a day, and multiple showers/bathes in the morning and after getting home from the beach, the wastewater problems that have existed here for years, will…you guessed it – only get worse.

Do you think the fragrance that occasionally permeates the air across from the Shell station and at the Lydgate Sewage Treatment Plant is bad now? Yep. It’s going to get worse – that is for sure.

But there is good news!

It’s never going to really happen folks. Remember Lucy and the football? Or what’s that other saying made famous by former President George W. Bush – “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three times…and well you must be talking about the Coco Palms Hotel development.”

Yep. If you believe this hotel will be built, I have got a bridge I’d like to sell you. Unfortunately, it’s not a pedestrian bridge over the 4-lane highway so people can get back and forth safely.

Nope, that bridge is not part of their plans. Neither are the community meetings the developers promised at the Planning Commission meetings held last year. And neither is an environmental impact statement that is required by law. Nope, not going to do a silly little EIS (so said the famous Hawaii Super Ferry).

And apparently not part of their plans either is the appropriate disposal of green waste from the hundred-plus coconut trees they’ve cut down. A casual inspection of the State lands (our public lands) behind the Coco Palms, shows piles and piles of recently deposited coconut tree stumps and logs.

Also not part of their plans is the hiring of a local general contractor. Nope. As is oh-so predictable, the current Utah-based owner/developer has hired a Utah-based general contractor to manage the work. I’m wondering if they even know what the words iwi kupuna mean?

Unless the County, the State, or the community intervene, soon the digging will start.