As a “Boomer” who came of age during the Vietnam War, the Beatles, Bob Dylan, and the Rolling Stones, I struggle sometimes with technology.

I admit it. I don’t always download, upload, or side-load the right app, nor do my passwords always line up nicely.

My personal relationship with most technology is “love/hate” at best, and I resist with all my might giving in to it’s constant demands.

Now, I’m fighting back.

I’m mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.

Not long ago, I got an email from the mortgage company, asking about my home insurance. I was told to go to their website, sign in, and upload documents confirming the insurance was current.

Why they just couldn’t telephone or email my insurance company for this I do not know.

I responded to their email and received back, “Sorry this email address is not monitored, please go to the website and access your account.”

What?

So, they can send me an email but I cannot reply back via email?

I made a note to myself that from then on, I would begin simulating an auto-reply back to them in the future, saying my email is not being monitored, please go to my website, log in, establish an account, and upload their documents.

Not wanting to jeopardize the status of my mortgage, I next tried calling them on one of the 5 telephone numbers listed at the bottom of my mortgage statement.

Of course. I promptly entered A.I. telephone hell.

An hour later, after speaking with numerous “virtual assistants”, I hung up.

I was over it.

Then a crazy idea hit me, and I began rummaging frantically through my desk drawers to find a pen and paper.

Some of you reading this might also have experience using on a regular basis in the past, these two items.

Others, I’m sure, are familiar with the phrase “the pen, (and paper) is mightier than the sword (and big business, big government, and big A.I.)”.

Aptly armed, I rolled up my sleeves, tossed down a strong cup of iced coffee (to chill my veins and energize my anger), and began hand-writing the mortgage company a letter on actual paper, with a black ink pen, and using CURSIVE.

Trust me on this. They will rue the day they messed with this Boomer.

I wrote requesting a copy of my mortgage, a breakdown of interest rate calculations along with insurance/tax payments, AND asked that these items be provided in writing via USPS to me.

I also asked for a face-to-face meeting to discuss my account.

My old school rebelliousness was alive and kicking.

When finished, I folded the paper nicely, and went searching for an envelope. Thatʻs when I stopped as the devil in my ear whispered further instructions.

I slowly unfolded the letter, tightly crumpled it, opened it, and re-crumpled it in my fist. Next, I took the wrinkly paper and made a small tear on the top and at the bottom. Just enough to get jammed in any machine attempting to scan the letter for A.I. review.

To put icing on the cake. I mailed the letter via USPS “return receipt with signature requested”.

Done. Rebel satisfied.

It’s been two months now, and I’ve heard nothing back. My regular monthly statements all look and feel normal.

I called my insurance company and spoke to a very nice HUMAN lady who told me all is good.

Pen, paper, cursive, written-report and in-person meeting requested, crumple, tear, return receipt, and off to USPS.

And it didn’t require any passwords, apps, or reloading.

There it was, the Boomerʻs Revenge equivalent of the group “Anonymous.”

Remember them? They organized online Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attacks in the 90’s, shutting down big businesses and government agencies by overwhelming computer systems with online requests.

To be absolutely clear, I’m certainly not recommending causing harm to any large corporation operated by A.I., and owned by oligarchs who pocket obscene profits preying on the elderly, vulnerable, and technologically unsophisticated.

No, I would never do that.

But I do wonder what would happen if 40 million victims (young and old) of predatory federal student loans did decide to hand-write using pen, paper, AND cursive, the U.S. Department of Education — requesting a copy of their original loan agreement, and detailed history of payments, charges, and interest computations?

This Boomerʻs Revenge tactic could also (hypothetically and theoretically of course), be used to communicate with health insurance companies denying treatment, or any organization, or government agency failing to respect, seeking to overcharge, or otherwise abuse us old guys.

Bottom line for me: If you or your business wants to communicate with me, provide a human being, not a machine. Otherwise, we can exchange notes written on paper, in cursive, and delivered via the USPS.

Sincerely,

Gary Hooser
Born 1954
Former Hawaii State Senator and State Senate Majority Leader
Now, retired boomer, political and policy writer, activist, and good trouble-maker
garyhooser.blog