I’m sitting at reflexion, heading toward recharge, knowing with certainty that quitting is never an option.

My 92 year-old mother is heading down the home stretch, and not doing so well.

Saturday morning I telephoned my Mom as I do every morning. I then walked 6 miles along the coast with Claudette, watched my favorite grandson Rixon play soccer at Vindinha, then went home, packed my bags, and headed to the airport.

16 hours later, I was by her side. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was as much seeking comfort, as I was offering it.

So yes, I’m sitting here in Phenix City Alabama, with Mom, Dad, my little brother, and extended family.

Mom is very weak, seems always on the edge of taking a fall, and often in a world of dreams – coherent but not always based on reality.

What happens next and how long it takes to happen is an obvious but not necessarily productive question.

Looking back at life from “small kid times” and talking story with her is priceless.

Sitting at the table while everyone else sleeps – reflecting on my own life, and looking forward as to what might be ahead is unavoidable.

Feels like I’m at a turning point.

In the early 1990’s I wrote a short essay entitled, “I don’t want to be Donald Trump anymore.” https://garyhooser.blog/2024/02/20/i-dont-want-to-be-donald-trump-anymore/

Trump, had just written “The Art of the Deal”. I was a real estate broker myself at the time, totally immersed in the local real estate industry.

I realized at that moment, I didn’t want to spend my life in constant pursuit of the almighty dollar. Increasingly my time and energy was being invested in issues and community, not in property or money.

In 1994, 30 years ago, my life shifted completely when I threw my hat in the ring for the Kauai County Council finishing at #10 – falling short of the top 7 winners circle. I ran again in 1998, winning in the #2 slot.

While some say serving in public office is a thankless job, my 16 years of service as a Councilmember and State Senator was deeply gratifying.

In 2014 myself and a handful of others from across the islands formed a nonprofit organization called the Hawaii Alliance for Progressive Action (HAPA). https://www.hapahi.org

In 2016 after falling short in my Council re-election bid, I officially retired and turned my attention to being the volunteer Board President for HAPA.

Since inception, HAPA has grown to be one of Hawaii’s leading voices in the area of food and agricultural policy, land use and water policy, and economic justice. In the area of civic education in 2018 HAPA launched the Kuleana Academy which teaches aspiring civic leader-advocates the key elements of running a political campaign.

In many ways, my work with HAPA and as a private independent community advocate, is even more gratifying, and more productive – and a natural extension of my years in elective office.

But yes, I’m thinking today about what’s next.

My health is good, my daily walks and a clean plant-based diet are firmly embedded life habits.

Claudette and I have a good life. Our children and grandchildren bring us great pride and much joy.

The dedication, accomplishments, and positive feedback from my extended ohana in the advocacy world – is truly awe-inspiring.

But I am who I am today because of my Mom. She’s always believed in me, always told me I was special, always made me know I was loved, and always offered me a hand up when I would fall.

Love you Mom. Hoping you’re feeling better soon.